His mercy endures for ever
Beloved in the Lord,
I made a pretty big mistake this week. I was supposed to be in Pittsburgh to administer a canonical exam at 10am. Just after 10, Canon Bill+ called me, and WOKE ME UP. I had slept through my alarm.
Horrified, I poured out my apologies. Canon Bill was very gracious, “Don’t sweat it. Jess and I can handle it.”
I could make all kinds of excuses for this behavior, like the meds I am on that make sleep very difficult…but that didn’t change the fact that I didn’t show up for a very important event. I was embarrassed and ashamed. Then I had to figure out what to do with that shame, because I had a full docket that day and needed to get myself together.
I asked myself, “Is the grace I preach for me, too?”
I like doing things well. I think reliability and integrity are very important. But if my understanding of myself as a beloved child of God dissolves in the face of failure, I am not living what I preach. I told my knotted stomach this, as I sat down to do (a late) morning prayer.
I brought my shame, my inability to turn the clock back and fix this, my embarrassment, and my worry that I had offended an old friend, and I laid it down in front of the throne of God. God’s answer was in the Psalm. The Psalm that was assigned by the prayerbook lectionary for Morning Prayer that day, Psalm 136. This Psalm begins,
O give thanks unto the LORD, for he is gracious, * for his mercy endures for ever.
Psalm 136 goes on to say, “his mercy endures for ever” 27 times. As I read the Psalm out loud that morning, I was forced to declare the truth of God’s mercy, again and again. Did I think God’s mercy wasn’t for me? His mercy endures for ever. Did I want to hide in shame? His mercy endures for ever. Was I worried about my reputation? His mercy endures for ever.
Are there consequences in this life when we make mistakes, or when we outright sin? Often yes. But there is a difference between feeling guilty-which means we are sorry for the wrong thing we have done, and feeling shame-which means we feel bad about our very selves. The Holy Spirit convicts us of the things we do wrong, but He does not shame us or reject us.
God tells us we are His beloved children. Our mistakes do not change that. Our sin does not change that. As Romans 5.8 says: “God shows his love for us in this, that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us”. Our failure does not mean God withdraws His love from us.
Our proper response to God’s love, mercy and grace is not to hide in shame, but to give him thanks. Again Psalm 136.1: O give thanks unto the LORD, for he is gracious, * for his mercy endures for ever.
So I am sharing my story of failure with you all today, and thanking our gracious God that His mercy endures for ever.
With love, Tracey+
Psalm 136
1 O give thanks unto the LORD, for he is gracious, *
for his mercy endures for ever.
2 O give thanks unto the God of all gods, *
for his mercy endures for ever.
3 O give thanks unto the Lord of all lords, *
for his mercy endures for ever.
4 Who alone does great wonders, *
for his mercy endures for ever.
5 Who by his excellent wisdom made the heavens, *
for his mercy endures for ever.
6 Who laid out the earth above the waters, *
for his mercy endures for ever.
7 Who made the great lights, *
for his mercy endures for ever;
8 The sun to rule the day, *
for his mercy endures for ever;
9 The moon and the stars to govern the night, *
for his mercy endures for ever.
10 Who struck down the firstborn of Egypt, *
for his mercy endures for ever;
11 And brought out Israel from among them, *
for his mercy endures for ever;
12 With a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, *
for his mercy endures for ever.
13 Who divided the Red Sea in two parts, *
for his mercy endures for ever;
14 And made Israel to pass through the midst of it, *
for his mercy endures for ever;
15 But as for Pharaoh and his host, he overthrew them in the Red Sea, *
for his mercy endures for ever.
16 Who led his people through the wilderness, *
for his mercy endures for ever.
17 Who smote great kings, *
for his mercy endures for ever;
18 And slew mighty kings, *
for his mercy endures for ever;
19 Sihon king of the Amorites, *
for his mercy endures for ever;
20 And Og the king of Bashan, *
for his mercy endures for ever;
21 And gave away their land for an inheritance, *
for his mercy endures for ever;
22 Even for an inheritance for Israel his servant, *
for his mercy endures for ever.
23 Who remembered us when we were in trouble, *
for his mercy endures for ever;
24 And delivered us from our enemies, *
for his mercy endures for ever.
25 Who gives food to all flesh, *
for his mercy endures for ever.
26 O give thanks unto the God of heaven, *
for his mercy endures for ever.
27 O give thanks unto the Lord of lords *
for his mercy endures for ever.
